Tuesday, January 18, 2011
i hate it when my baby's sick.
when she's burning up and i've given her medicine and it hasn't helped yet. and she's aching and feeling 'wobbly' with chills. and there's nothing i can do.
and now she's sleeping ... i can hear her soft breathing. but even still, i want to wake her up ... feel her forehead ... hear her voice ... make sure she's ok. i lay back down and cover myself up. tell myself - stay in bed ... close your eyes ...
i know she needs the sleep right now. but me? i lie awake thinking all those bad thoughts i usually keep at bay.
all the fears in the back of my mind rush at me. because i'm old enough to know how the world works, and i'm a mum now. and she's ... my heart? my hope?
Is the longest day.