Bad Mummy Does Good
I know I'm a good mummy. I know I'd tick lots of 'good mummy' boxes, were you to survey me. My child is healthy, and happy, and as we speak is getting out of bed and calling down the stairs because ... well ... surely because she loves me so much, and can't stand to be apart from me.
So why oh why am I nearly-constantly wracked with guilt?
When I drop her off at preschool, which she loves by the way ... guilt.
When she asks me to play with her, and I say 'in just a minute' and then keep on doing whatever it was I was doing ... guilt.
When I don't explain the meaning of this, that, and everything to her when she asks ... guilt.
When I promise the park, and we don't end up going ... guilt.
I know that no matter what I tell myself, the guilt will still come. I guess it's up to me to notice it's there, notice where it's coming from ... and then ignore it. Guilt does not help do the dishes, or mark papers, or help with homework, or read stories, or bathe/dress/and put to bed.
The other way I deal with guilt? Nelle and I have a little ritual. When she comes home from preschool, we either have smoothies or popsicles. Together. It's a little thing, but something we both look forward to. It's ours.
Bad mummy does good with the smoothies. And the popsicles.
And here's one of my favourites - full of good, antioxidant-rich avocado and raw cocoa; calcium-rich milk; and bananas.
Chocolate Avocado Smoothie
makes 2 large smoothies + 4 popsicles
3 frozen bananas, peeled and sliced
1 ripe avocado
2 c milk*
2 Tbs raw cocoa powder
4 de-pitted prunes (optional)
*Decreasing the amount of milk to 1c makes these more ice-creamy. And you can try out using any other type of milk, depending on your dietary requirements.
**As always, try to use organic ingredients when you can
1. Put the banana slices, the scooped-out avocado flesh, the milk, the cocoa powder, and the prunes (if using) in a blender and whizzzzz till smooth.
2. Serve in glasses with spoons or pour into popsicle molds and pop into the freezer for a treat later on.
TIP: I always always always make my extra smoothie into popsicles. You cannot underestimate the value of popsicles in taming child-beasties.
This batch of smoothie - 100% organic - cost me about $2.50. I buy up 'baking bananas' when they're on offer and pop them into the freezer - skin and all - to use for smoothies. If you do the same, this can be made really cheaply!
So, try it out. Make a little ritual with your child. Something simple, not too time-consuming. Something you can both look forward to. And note the smile on her face.
Oh Amanda, I am so familiar with the push/pull of Mother Guilt, too. I try to keep something I read once in mind, though. It goes, "There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one."ReplyDelete
I love your idea of a little "Us" ritual. I'm totally stealing it.
The guilt thing is universal no matter what age your kids are. Now that my girls only have a few more years at home (maybe less depending on what university Paris ends up at), I really am trying to do a few little rituals with them. The panic and guilt I think increases when they are about to fly the coop.ReplyDelete
This recipe looks great and we posted it to our Facebook Page to share it with our friends.ReplyDelete
From the team at Australian Avocados
No matter how old your children get, the *Mommy Guilt* is always there. The just you and me ritual is a very good one just as your recipe is. Loved all the photographs by the way but the last one...Wow...what an impact!ReplyDelete
@Linda @ Stuff I Like Steal away, Linda ... and thanks for sharing that quote - it says it all, doesn't it?ReplyDelete
@Where My Heart Is I can't even imagine! Letting go of your fledgling must be the hardest thing to do ...ReplyDelete
@Australian Avocados Thanks for that!ReplyDelete
@Paula Thanks Paula :) Admittedly it did take a *little* from the moment when I'm snapping a photo with my right hand .. ha ha ...ReplyDelete
But aren't those moments the ones to capture?
Amanda I loved reading through this post, though my favorite part was the last photo of your daughter's hand in yours - it speaks volumes and is so touching. I *love* this idea of a chocolate avocado smoothie, and I have some ripe avocados just waiting to be used. I seriously think I will make this for breakfast right after I finish typing this!ReplyDelete
Also, I saw your comment on my Negroni recipe - thanks for the compliments on my photos and I replied with some info about how I have been taking my pictures and lighting. Let me know if you have more questions, and don't hesitate to email me! :)
I love this post, Amanda. I get the mommy guilt too.ReplyDelete
And your last photo melts my heart... what a great shot.
I will definitely have to try this recipe. it looks amazing!
Fantastic photos, and lovely writing! And the popsciles .. oh well .. I'll try it as soon as possible and come back here to tell you!ReplyDelete
Thanks for sharing Amanda!
@The Cilantropist Thanks Amanda! I hope you had a yum smoothie :) Heading over to check out your photo info!ReplyDelete
oh mummy guilt! i sometimes think guilt was invented when motherhood was.ReplyDelete
i love the idea of a little ritual, i might have to adopt this.
I can't even wait to make this!!!!!!!! Yet another great recipe. xxxReplyDelete
I agree guilt was probably invented to make good mothers, unfortunate as that sounds! I know you know you are a good mum, but I'm sure you haven't got the slightest inkling what an awesome mum you are. xReplyDelete
Noticing the guilt is the first step. Releasing it is the next step. Personally, I've noticed that guilt blocks love. We can't love others unless we love ourselves. We can't love ourselves unless we love others. Every ounce of guilt we release allows more love to flow through. Every ounce of love that flows through releases more guilt. We are conditioned to believe that we are sinful and therefore we must feel guilty. This conditioning blocks love. But the love is stronger than the conditioning if only we surrender to it. But we are taught that surrender means losing. Surrender means to stop resisting the love. Guilt is our tool of resistance. Our children are our teachers who can show us this. They show us the love that is worth surrendering to. Just my opinion.ReplyDelete
A Taste of Paprika