Brain Training in the Oncology Unit

Why is it that it's easier to be anxious than peaceful?

To dread mortality, rather than accept it?

Why does that little voice in the back of my head mutter things I don't want to hear, rather than things I do?

Lately, I've been working on visualisation - seeing the things I want to happen, happen. Imagining health and power and happiness welling up inside me ... filling me with life and making me invincible. Not immortal, mind you, just invincible. 

This isn't hokey stuff (I'm not much for hokey stuff). It's brain fitness. Circuit training for my psyche. And today, sitting here in oncology (again), I need it. This is just a check-up, a hormone implant, and some treatment to prevent osteoporosis in my young-but-menopausal bones. But still, I'm here. And this place always seems to put me on edge.

I am strong.

I am happy.

I am invincible.

I can do anything. (Even live. A long, fulfilling life after cancer.)

Damn it.
I am strong

But human.
(It's a work in progress.)

Amanda xx


  1. Hoping that the check-up went well but I understand how hard it is to keep the brain fitness training from going off the rails. Keep working at it as I know you will and yes, you are strong...very, very strong. You (we all may not) be invincible but you are one hell of a fighter that's for sure.

  2. You are strong! Think happy thoughts and I hope all went well.

  3. You ARE strong, happy, invincible and can do anything!

    My Dad signs off his emails now (after getting cancer) with 'immortal until proven otherwise'.

  4. Thank you! You all empower me. And Jess - tell your dad he's an inspiration! love it!

  5. I have more than my fair share of anxiousness and I know what you mean. Its so easy to get sucked into the negative 'what ifs'.
    It takes a real effort to think of all the positives, all that we have.

    Lovely post.

  6. Thanks, Zara. Your baby blue-tongue lizard makes me happy :)

  7. You are strong, you are invincible, you are...AWESOME! Your brain training is beautiful and inspirational! K xx

  8. Good thoughts. And sending my good wishes to you too. Love your blog!

  9. Karen, Anna,
    I'm laying in bed with my body a little achy from the bone treatment and reading these comments (and your own blogs) and feeling very, very smiley.

    now. if someone would just bring me a cup of tea?

  10. I'm also sending some positive thoughts and hoping your check up went well.
    I agree with the other posters. You are strong, you are strong, you are strong! xo

  11. I love reading your posts, your are very inspiring.. BE STRONG, that's the way... Good luck.. :-)


Post a Comment

Thanks for commenting! Amandaxx